“If I were down to my last dollar, I'd spend it on PR” —Bill Gates

First, I’d like to thank myself...

For what, you ask? Well, for not shutting the f**k up!

 I'd like to thank myself for being an unapologetic, shameless self-promoter who feels absolutely no discomfort whatsoever when it comes to shamelessly (did I use that word already?) self-promoting my own books and this re:book’s newsletter.

Second, I’d like to thank you for tolerating my unapologetic, shameless self-promotion. (Nah, no one has ever accused me — Rebecca Eckler, founder of www.rebooks.ca, of @inspiredbyrebooks, and author of Blissfully Blended Bullshit amongst others — of excessive shameless self-promotion. (Bahaha!)

I’m really not trying to bother you with my self-promotional posts. (I “meme” well, I really do!) 

Many authors, especially women, are reluctant to self-promote or find it uncomfortable, concerned they will come across as arrogant, conceited, or braggy. I don’t.

Being forthright about your successes or something you’ve worked so hard on is not braggy, arrogant, or conceited.

Plus, I think self-promoting is fun! And having a sense of humour about self-promotion makes self-promoting even more fun.

For instance, every time I’m interviewed, I play a game in my head called, “How many times can I mention my book in this interview?”

Once, I managed to mention my latest book, Blissfully Blended Bullshit — oh shit, here she goes again self-promoting Blissfully Blended Bullshit  — seven times in a five-minute interview.

I was pretty proud of myself, actually. I had broken my record! (Unfortunately, since I’ve never told anyone about this little competitive game I play against myself, no one gave  me a medal for this self-promotional “win." Anyway…)

I try to slip in as many mentions of my books as possible during interviews by “pivoting,” just like a politician during a debate, who totally ignores the moderator’s question. 

If I don’t like an interviewer's question, or if we get off track about my book, I’ll just say something like, “I'd just like to go back for a moment to what we were talking about earlier, because in my book, Blissfully Blended Bullshit, I do write that..."

Or, I’ll say, “That’s a really good point. In fact, in my book Blissfully Blended Bullshit, I mention…”

Or I'll say, “I’m not sure I necessarily agree. I mean, in my book Blissfully Blended Bullshit, I have an entire chapter on…"

I also have a sense of humour—and actual FUN—promoting my books whenever I’m in big bookstores.

Once, I was at Indigo at the Manulife Centre and spotted an unattended cashier desk. Behind it was an entire roll of “Heather’s Pick” gold stickers — the Canadian equivalent of an Oprah-esque seal (or sticker) issued by Indigo’s founder, CEO, and “Chief Book Lover” Heather Reisman — just lying there behind the counter, like a forgotten baby. It was like seeing the holy grail. 

Honestly? I did think, “How much trouble would I really get into if I just reached over the counter, grabbed that roll of stickers, and madly started slapping them on my books?”

I supposed it would be considered theft, which actually did lead me to wonder, “Is it worth it to go to jail for that roll of ‘Heather’s Pick’ gold stickers?” To which I actually did think, “Yes—yes it is! Not only would it be great for my book sales, because almost all her picks end up selling really, really, really well, but bonus? A few nights in jail would give me a much-needed break from my kids.” (I’m kidding. I love my kids!)

And maybe I would have done it, for fun, even at the risk of being arrested (it’s not like I would be murdering anyone). But, alas, an employee saw me staring at them, like an adoring dog stares at their person. And, as if reading my mind, they immediately jumped behind the counter and blocked those damned stickers like a presidential bodyguard willing to put their life on the line. Which makes sense. Those stickers really have become the holy grail for authors and publishers.

Could you imagine the headline if I had actually gone through with it and gotten busted?

“Canadian author awaits punishment in jail after stealing ‘Heather’s Pick’ stickers: Officers undecided on whether to charge crime for theft over or under $5,000.”

I mean, the Heather’s Pick roll of stickers themselves would be worth under $5,000. But the power of those stickers is worth way more than $5,000. (Any criminal lawyers out there want to chime in on what I would be charged with here?) And I wonder how many MORE books I would sell if this actually did happen. I can guarantee, a lot more! (Sex tape or jail? You choose.”)

Someone once described publishing a book without promoting it as akin to waving to someone in a dark room. You know you've waved, but nobody else does.

In every re:book’s newsletter, I ask subscribers to put other author's books on my radar that deserve some love and attention. The entire point of my re:book’s newsletter is to bring awareness to books by other female authors that may not get the love and attention they deserve.

But I was not prepared for the shocking number of female authors — many of whom are award-winning, published authors — who have sent me emails like, “Dear Rebecca, I hate promoting my own books, but since you asked, here’s a link to my most recent book...”

This “I’m too modest to self-promote myself and my books” thing? Personally, I think it comes down to the fact we’re women. Many authors, especially females, either act or pretend to act like self-promotion is as painful as natural childbirth. To those authors who honestly hate self-promotion and are not just pretending to hate it, it’s time to get over your self-promotional fear!

Why? There are now something like 600k to a million books published each year in North America, and almost half are self-published. If you don't continuously self-promote your books, who will?

“Many women find it very difficult to talk forthrightly and forcefully about their abilities, accomplishments and potential—to promote themselves in obvious and effective ways,” Andie Kramer writes in this Forbes Article, Why Women Can’t Be Shy About Owning Their Accomplishments. “….this reluctance is likely because you have been told since you were a little girl that you should not be boastful, self-assertive, or prideful. You have probably also been told that because you are a woman, you should be modest, reserved, and deferential.”

 Some authors and writers are so averse to tooting their own horn that even the mere suggestion that they need to self-promote will have them breaking out in instant hives, racing to their medicine cabinets to see if they have any Benadryl that didn’t expire before 2014.

In my humble opinion, an author must think of their book as a traveller waiting for their luggage to appear on the baggage carousel. While I’m standing there waiting, I’m annoyed and thinking, “Where the hell is my damn black suitcase already? Oh, here it comes! Wait, nope—that's not my black suitcase. Wait, there it is! Nope...that’s someone else’s. Wait, that’s mine coming! Nope. That one isn’t mine either! Why the fuck don’t I just buy a fluorescent pink luggage set already? Grrr!”

I never used to understand why people tie colourful ribbons on their luggage. I do now. No matter how ridiculous it may look, I can tell you this much: Those travellers are finding their black luggage way more quickly than I'm finding mine, that's for damn sure.

They’re smart enough to make their luggage unique, stick out, and easy to find — which, incidentally, are the exact three traits needed to help boost book sales.

 Just like tying a tacky ribbon on your luggage, self-promotion is key to your book being noticed. And being noticed is the key to your book’s success.

So I’m not sorry that I shamelessly promote my books, awards, or this newsletter that I’ve worked so hard on, and CONTINUE to work so hard on. Why should I be ashamed of posting links to buy my books, or of asking people to sign up for the re:books newsletter? I’m proud of my accomplishments, and I want to share my successes with my friends, family, and social media followers—which leads to more exposure, a wider audience, and lots more potential book buyers and readers of this newsletter. (Although, I do like the saying that “being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly!”)

Today, just like almost every day, there were FIVE advertisements from real estate agents in my mailbox. I’m not annoyed with these very large promotional postcards, aside from the waste of paper. I just toss them out (at the risk of missing my chance of acquiring a confidential, no-obligation market evaluation of my home! I know, I’m such a risk-taker.)

Women, especially authors, should NOT be ashamed of getting the word out — pun intended — about their books, newsletters, bylines, or products or services. Just like the millions of real estate agents in my neighbourhood promoting the hell out of themselves and the houses they’ve sold: “I HAVE OVER 35 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE! #1 SALES REPRESENTATIVE SINCE 2004! MY PROVEN TRACK RECORD WILL SELL YOUR HOME QUICKLY AND FOR TOP DOLLAR!”

 What’s the difference between a real estate agent promoting their services, trying to sell or buy my house, and me promoting my work, trying to get readers to buy one of my books or subscribe to my newsletter?

“Not all marketing people are writers, but all writers must learn to be marketers,” says author Joanne Kraft.

And while word of mouth — or simply talking about your book — is probably the largest, easiest, cheapest marketing vehicle for a book’s success, I do recognize that promoting your own books can be hard for introverted writers, or for those who suffer from social anxiety.

So in that vein, I present you with…  

9 other totally fun ways I (secretly) self-promote my own books (and you can too!)

1. As you’ve read above, I was willing to go to jail, for Pete’s sake, to get a few Heather's Pick stickers to slap on my books. So, obviously, I’ve never been a Heather’s Pick. Not officially, anyway. But I have been on Heather's Picks wall and tables. How? Because I’ll waltz into bookstores and put them there. Or I’ll move my books to a table near the store entrance. I figure, meh, a staff member will notice eventually, but at least they’ll be there for a few hours. It’s fun to place my book right beside a massive bestseller. I wrote more about, um, let's say, helping the staff re-shelf my books here.

2. Many authors don’t know this, but if you sign your books, they can’t be sent back to the publishers and are considered sold. So whenever I’m in a bookstore, I’ll just ask for the manager and say, “I’m the author of Blissfully Blended Bullshit. It just came out. Would you like me to sign them while I’m here?” Not once has anyone said no. So, basically, just always carry a sharpie on you. Once signed, not only can your books not get sent back, but they may give you a sticker that says, “Signed by the author,” which some people really like!

3. Whenever I’m in a bookstore like Indigo, I'll go to one of their computers and type in my name so that all my books come up on the screen...and then I’ll leave the computer like that so anyone who uses it after me will see all my books. In fact, my entire family now does this for me, including my daughter and her friends, and even my boyfriend, whenever they’re in bookstores. Who knows? Someone might see them and be intrigued. I do this literally every time I’m in a bookstore. Talk about being shameless.

4. Whenever I travel, I take a few copies of my book with me to leave at hotels. Many hotels have libraries; otherwise, I’ll leave one or two on pool chairs. I’ve left Blissfully Blended Bullshit in Jamaica, in Mexico, in Aspen, in San Francisco, in Miami, in New York, in Arizona… You really never know! Some Hollywood producer may be staying there and pick up the book you oh-so-casually left behind. (Actually, I do know. Once I left one of my books at the Four Seasons in Maui, and my agent got a call from a movie producer—it was then optioned for a film.)

5. I’ve built a street team of friends and family who call bookstores and libraries to ask for my books. Ba sically, I’m getting other people to execute and self-promote for me. I figure, if I get my friends to ask if they have my book in stock, whoever answers the phone may think it’s a worthwhile book that everyone is talking about, so they better order more. I get my parents to order and take out my books from libraries, even if they’ve already read them and have no plans to read them again, just so they will be kept in libraries longer. (Don’t forget to check out this week’s interview with a career librarian here. It’s pretty funny!)

 6. I once, admittedly, got pissed off because one junior publicist, in one of our weekly catch-up sessions, told me she hadn’t booked me on any media appearances, but she had ordered 250 bookmarks with the cover of Blissfully Blended Bullshit on it, which she was very excited about. At first, I thought it was a waste of money and time. What the fuck was I going to do with 250 bookmarks? Well, those bookmarks turned out to be a very handy promotional tool. Whenever I attend huge events—at convention centres or other large venues—I throw a handful of those bookmarks into my purse and then leave them by the coat check. You never know who will spot it on their way out and may be interested in looking up Blissfully Blended Bullshit when they get home. So, buy yourself some bookmarks!

7. I wrote about author blurbs last week and why I hate doing them here. But, it’s an easy way to promote your own book if you blurb someone else’s book, because your blurb always includes “author of [name of your book].” Plus, it’s a nice way of helping out another author. And, if I write a freelance article now, I always sign at the end with either “Founder of RE:BOOKS” with a live link that goes directly to the website, or “Bestselling Author of Blissfully Blended Bullshit,” with a live link to buy the book. Sometimes, or usually, I throw in both! Editors rarely care; they’ll likely keep it in because they know they are paying you shit, so the least they can do is let you promote yourself.

8. I am, honestly, a bestseller. But everyone and anyone can be a bestseller these days, at least on Amazon. It's easy. Just pre-order your book, once a day for a week, and you’ll see your rankings go up (or is it down?) Whatever. If you order a number of your books in a short amount of time, you can become a bestseller in one of their thousands of categories. Then, you can technically say that you are a bestseller, even if it’s for 18 minutes one day. No one really HAS to know that you’re an “Amazon” bestseller. (Do they?)

9. I’ve never done this personally, as you can see from the one-star and horrible reviews of my book Blissfully Blended Bullshit on Amazon — I’m guessing they’re “revenge” reviews because they’re all written by “anonymous” — but I have told authors I consult to get as many friends as possible to create fake gmail accounts and then post positive reviews of their book. People are heavily influenced by those Amazon reviews and star ratings.  

See? Like I said, self-promoting is fun if you make it fun and have a sense of humour about it. And the above ideas are perfect for those who don’t like to self-promote on social media.

Again, I like to congratulate myself on this newsletter and my latest book Blissfully Blended Bullshit. And I’d like to congratulate YOU on hopefully getting over your self-promotion-related fear or embarrassment when it comes to promoting your book (or any of your successes!)

P.S. I also would like to say sorry to Heather Reisman and her wonderful staff at Indigo for putting up with my self-promotional antics in stores and forcing them to rearrange the shelves.

Get your friends to sign up for this newsletter here for more insider tips like this, in the re:al world of publishing! Or forward this article to those who would find it helpful. And you can buy Blissfully Blended Bullshit here! (See? That was easy.)

 xoxo

Rebecca