From the “fresh eyes” of Danielle Kaplan, RE:BOOK’s debut author of the memoir, I Married A Thrill-Seeker versus seasoned author, Jowita Bydlowska, author of the recently released novel Possessed (and others.)

“You need, need, need support from your publisher and the people involved in your book's promotion. Otherwise, what is the point of any of this?” — Possessed author Jowita Bydlowska

“I think at first I was not prepared for the personal relationship questions such as “ Did you ever want to leave your husband because of his thrill seeking behaviour?” That’s a tough question to respond to publicly. I was probably naive going into the interviews initially, not expecting these types of questions. But I always am honest and diplomatically truthful” — Danielle Kaplan, first-time author of I Married A Thrill-Seeker: A cautious wife's memoir of her husband's risk-taking and their long road to recovery

Not Jaded! Danielle Kaplan author of the memoir I Married A Thrill-Seeker on Her First Book Tour

RE:BOOKS: Did you know what a book tour was and all that it entails? I have spoken to debut authors who have no idea what a book tour even is. 

Danielle Kaplan: As an avid reader in the past I imagined a book tour involving an author doing a reading of their work in a local bookstore. If the author was successful, maybe a couple of print or live interviews to promote the book.  

However, I have never considered the full media aspect involved in the marketing, publicity or sales of a book. Sheepish to say, most of my experience/knowledge of publishing and book tours came from watching the TV show Younger which is based on the fictional imprint (learned that term from the show) of the publishing house Empirical. Certainly during Covid this has taken a totally different direction, with almost everything being online interviews for online articles, podcasts and YouTube shows. 

RE:BOOKS: As a debut author, what surprised you the most when you were being interviewed?

Danielle Kaplan: I guess the depth of personal questions pertaining to my relationship with Stephen, his thrill-seeking behaviour and what it’s like to live with someone who is a thrill seeker.  The title of the book has definitely been a captivating topic. 

I found that I was so nervous before each interview and while waiting for the Zoom or FaceTime host to come on, my mind would go literally blank, and I would feel like I haD forgotten the details of my story. As soon as they started the interview, it did not seem as daunting and I was able to fall into the groove of answering the questions and enjoying the dialogue.  

RE:BOOKS: For a first-time author you have garnered a lot of interest. Did you have any expectations going in?

Danielle Kaplan: Interest in the book: Well, the title is quite captivating/alluring and then you see the real people — me and my husband — on the cover, so it draws you in. In retrospect, it seems that thrill seeking is enthralling for people, you are one, know one, or are risk adverse like myself and it gives you the chills. 

Honestly? I just wanted my family and friends and their friends to read our insane story, which is hard to read emotionally, but easy to read as a book. I had all this detailed information I had collected and wanted to share it with our community. I did not at all anticipate the interest or response from the media, the interviewers or from people I did not know, wanting to know our story and read the book. 

RE:BOOKS: What was the most surprising question? What was the funniest question? And were there any questions that you weren’t prepared for? 

Danielle Kaplan: A surprising and hard and maybe even funny question to answer was  “Did you ever wonder whether the heartbeat he sought with his adventures was stronger than his heartbeat for you?” 

I think at first I was not prepared for the personal relationship questions such as “Did you ever want to leave your husband because of his thrill seeking behaviour?” That’s a tough question to respond to publicly. I was probably naive going into the interviews initially not expecting these types of questions. But I am always honest and diplomatically truthful. 

I guess the funniest question was “I hear there are plans to write a book? Can you share them”. … when that is what we were promoting. The questions must have been written without knowing the book was published. It was quickly corrected, edited and re-recorded.  

RE:BOOKS: Since RE:BOOK’s is mostly publishing debut authors, can you share a couple tips or pieces of advice for being interviewed?

• For online interviews make sure your setup is working well, you are familiar with it and check it all in advance of the interview. (Or have a techie person around as backup.) 

• Be as well prepared as possible. This gives you confidence. Know the answers to general questions and topics that are likely to be covered. Then you can ad-lib, and elaborate. 

• Be yourself and act as you would having a conversation with the interviewer rather than it being a formal interview.

• Listen to the question fully before formulating your answer. 

• Have fun as it goes really quickly. 

RE:BOOKS: The author I interview below is is a seasoned author. She knows what it was like publishing a book in its “heyday!” Meaning jumping on planes/going to festivals. Now it’s all podcasts and over Zoom. Did that surprise you?

Danielle Kaplan: Yes, it’s a whole different world doing podcasts and zoom interviews. With the global health crisis (Covid) and being more isolated, I was somewhat prepared for this. However, I think in some ways it’s more demanding and pressured as you can wind up having a few interviews in a day, week and almost at any time during the day and evening. 

In this regard there are fewer scheduling boundaries. I would imagine that having in-person interviews can be stressful too, dressing up, perfect makeup, getting to places on time, while I sit in the comfort of my own home, interview room set up, comfy clothes that are not visible and being punctual as the travel time is a non-issue! 

RE:BOOKS: As we both know there have been some hurdles. For example, it’s not rare to be cancelled to make room for “real news.” But it is/can be disappointing for a debut author. What’s your advice on getting over a cancellation or not, let’s say, getting reviewed in traditional press — meaning newspapers and TV. 

Danielle Kaplan: Well, it can be disappointing, but you have to develop a thick skin, take it in your stride and not personalize the knocks. I have noted that the process of writing, publishing and the media is not always predictable or linear.  You have to feel fortunate/grateful if you are able to get your book out there, published and in the hands of book sellers. When something like a cancellation happens or your work isn’t reviewed by mainstream media, it’s a reality check as to how tough the media world is. 

RE:BOOKS: What is your biggest takeaway from your book tour? Did you learn anything?

Danielle Kaplan: I consider the book tour, just like having your book published, as a gift. I put in the work to write the book as I felt compelled to share my story. Getting the book into the hands of so many unknown readers, telling my story in interviews is such an incredible opportunity to reach a wider audience. I have seen that the book and title can generate so many different interview questions and angles.  By doing an online book tour you get to meet so many different people, interview styles and interviewers who draw different audiences. 

I have learned how to feel comfortable talking about my book, our story and even myself in front of a camera, a new skill for me. 

You can buy Danielle’s incredible and miraculous memoir here or here! If you're reading from America you can order it here and here and here! 

And to listen to Danielle on a podcast called Stark Reflections hosted by Mark Leslie click here!

***

Sort of Jaded? Seasoned Author Jowita Bydlowska On How Book Tours Have Changed Over The Years.

RE:BOOKS: How would you describe a book tour/launch to non-authors?

Jowita Bydlowska: This experience has been different than in previous years because... there was no book tour. 

I can only do so much to promote myself and I actually love it, I love going out to bookstores and events and meeting people... but to be honest, I didn't have much of that this year. 

My first book, Drunk Mom, was published with a large publisher. I did perhaps get spoiled with publicity and I did get to go on TV and all of that. Maybe it was a different time? 

But my second novel, Guy, did extremely well partly because it was a good book, but partly because I had a devoted team who worked very hard and was very transparent about all of their efforts. 

I had an amazing publicist, a publisher who was very hands-on (Hi, Noelle!). They got me into book festivals, they organized a launch, a book tour, signings... you name it. I was reviewed everywhere. 

Guy was published with an indie press. Maybe things have changed now. But I'd like to think that I'm not stupid about publicity and I'm definitely not stupid about my own publicity but a singular author can only do so much. 

You need, need, need support from your publisher and the people involved in your book's promotion. Otherwise, what is the point of any of this? I'm hoping that when I publish my next novel I will be surrounded by people who love my vision as much as I do. 



RE:BOOKS: Do you remember your first interview request?

Jowita Bydlowska: It was for Drunk Mom in the offices of then-Doubleday Canada. I was very nervous, it was my first interview ever and the interviewer was a very good journalist from the Globe and Mail. The journalist was nice but not overly nice. I could tell she was trying to get a good story when she challenged my motivation to write the memoir or asked about my personal relationship. 

In the article, she described the way I looked and dressed, and, yes, my romantic relationship, my parenting; the way I sat and talked, fidgeted; and the way I got “defensive” when asked questions intended to get a rise out of me (such as the one about my sexual assault -- the one question I think would be framed quite differently in 2022, now that we blame women less for what happens to them). During the interview, she sounded wistful, commiserating, and she seemed like a friend, not like a scary lady who wanted to write a juicy story. I knew what she was doing. 

Besides journalism, I’ve also studied interviewing techniques during my psychology degree and this particular technique–using common language, practicing active listening, soft eye contact, offering reflective statements (or in our case relatable ones when she shared about her own struggles)–was a classic. 

And yet–and yet, with my media training, with my educational background and with my innate good bullshit detector and even with my willingness to blab a bit, I did get fooled. But did I?

RE:BOOKS: What did you wear for your book launch event? How did you prepare?

Jowita Bydlowska: I wore a black, tight Jil Sander dress, gorgeous Wolford stockings and my old Michael Kors stilettos with a thick strap. In terms of preparation, I met with my co-host, the super talented, brilliant author, Lynn Crosbie, prior to it and we talked about what we were going to talk about in order to make this fun for everyone. I was very nervous. All day. I had a very stressful day prior to it, teaching at TMU (formerly Ryerson); it's a long class and I had an evaluator come in to assess my teaching (I got 95%!) 

RE:BOOKS: Do you find interviewers ask the same questions?

Jowita Bydlowska: Yes, that was the case with Drunk Mom but it wasn't so much the questions but people wanting to tell me about their loved ones -- or themselves -- who have struggled with addiction. So it was emotionally draining. I'm an empath. With Possessed I had quite a few women tell me their stories of dating f*ckboys, which is always interesting. 

RE:BOOKS: Can you share what you enjoy about book tours?

Jowita Bydlowska: I love going on a book tour! I love traveling, staying in hotels, meeting new people, I love talking about books in general. I really wish I had a chance to do it with Possessed. There's a lot of sex in the book and I would've loved the opportunity to talk about that; we don't talk enough about sex in Canada. 

I think in the States and Europe there's a lot more cache to being an author, but it's not even about cache... I just wish we could get away from the tropes a bit, we're a bit uptight in Canada, writing a book about sex is probably not the best career move. But…

Should my next book be about a brave grandmother on the prairies -- or the east coast -- chopping off her leg in the dead of winter while helping someone give birth in the fields..? {insert sarcasm]

RE:BOOKS: Books are now like movies -- you only have a couple of weeks max to get publicity to promote hard to sell people on buying your book. You are on such a high waiting for publication and after the press stops? It's like such a low (as I wrote in Part One!). Do you get depressed after a book tour?

Jowita Bydlowska: Well, since I didn't go on one, I've just been depressed, period. But joking aside, it's a terrible letdown to not have a book tour set up after all those years of hard work. 

What I'm baffled by is the amount of work, money, and energy that is spent on producing a book but promoting it is like... lol? (I'd say writing it is maybe 50 percent of it -- publishing it is what the other people do, the editors, designers, etc... they should be celebrated too and I would've addressed all those efforts had I had a chance to do so). 

It took me six years to get Possessed out. It takes six years to do a phD, think about that. I loved my launch (which I organized myself), and I loved all the support I've gotten from friends, family, supporters and some readers who follow my work... but if Karen in the ‘burbs has no idea my book even exists because it's not being promoted and I don't come to her local bookstore then what chances does my book have to actually exist? 

There's, of course, the possibility that I simply wrote a bad book and people just don't want to read it but, again, if they have no idea it exists, I don't even get a chance to get a bunch of one-star reviews on Amazon or whatever. Also, I didn't write a bad book, I had one review in the Globe and it was excellent. It was the reviewer who reached out to the Globe and was persistent about it. 

RE:BOOKS: I wrote about this: I do not think “all press is good press.” Do you?

Jowita Bydlowska: Yes, I do! Drunk Mom got some bad press (as in people were a little bit mean about it in some places) and its popularity snowballed, maybe because the book was in people's periphery. The publicity team made sure I had reviews in every newspaper and magazine, radio, tv... you name it. It was crazy, it was good and the book did really well. 

RE:BOOKS: Is there any advice you'd give to debut authors who never have been interviewed before? Like, try to mention your book title as many times as possible. Ask producers to put the cover on the screen? 

Jowita Bydlowska: Yes, that one tip I mentioned earlier. And just be nice to people. Producers, interviewers, whoever. It's all teamwork intended to make you look good. Hey, even with Drunk Mom, when I had interviewers trying to trip me up, trust me, being sweet and funny and vulnerable went a long way, rather than being defensive (I tried both, being defensive got me nowhere). 

RE:BOOKS: So many authors say they don't read reviews. I call 99.9 percent BS on that. Do you?

Jowita Bydlowska: No comment.

You can buy Possessed here!

Until next time,

Flip your hair and flip the page (and support your local authors!)

xo

Rebecca