“Travitude: (n.) when you start to feel grumpy and sassy ’cause you miss travelling.”

Physically, I'm here. Mentally, I'm in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito.

Did you know that you can buy gift cards for Toronto Pearson Airport? I swear. You can buy them online on their website valued between $25 and $5,000. When I think about it, it’s not actually the worst gift idea for friends or family who travel frequently, or if you know they’ve got upcoming travel plans. Shit is expensive in airports.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to visit my daughter, Rowan, in Boston, where she’s a freshman in college. This is not a humble brag…or maybe it is because as a Canadian, I don't often get to use the word “freshman.”

I travel frequently enough to have airport routines and rituals. I like to show up early to check myself in so I have time to check out the Air Canada or American Express lounge and steal their delicious chocolate chip cookies. 

It’s worth the walk. And it’s a long walk, but worth it after waiting in a security line that, frankly, should be divided into two lines: those who have never flown before and…everyone else. 

Another one of my routines is checking out the bookstores, which I recently learned are technically called “travel convenience stores” or “travel retailers.” How fancy! 

I always buy books at airports (along with a package of M&Ms and a bottle of water—another ritual), some of which are featured in this week's newsletter.

You’re probably thinking I’m a sucker for buying anything at an airport, let alone books, but I’d rather set myself on fire than check luggage. First of all, I prefer to read physical copies (and no, it’s not because I’m old school), since not once, but twice I’ve forgotten my Kindle on the plane while I was madly gathering my “flight necessities”— a winter hat, extra socks, a blanket, reading material, and a scarf so my head doesn't touch the seat. The fact that I’m usually extremely groggy at this point is likely to blame (another one of my routines is to pop a sleeping pill as soon as I board).

Who wants to wait 138 hours at the carousel waiting for your luggage once you’ve finally reached your destination?

In any case, this is why I always buy books at travel convenience stores.

As an author, and thinking even in the POV of a publisher, I can’t think of a better spot to have your books stocked, especially leading up to the holidays. For real!

Now, because I want you to always learn something, here’s a little history lesson about Relay, which I believe is the main travel convenience store in most Canadian airports. I think it’s pretty cool. 

Relay was founded under the name Relais H in 1852, when Louis Hachette — a French publisher who established a Parisian publishing house that has gone global, and is still publishing books today — bought what was then known as “train-station libraries." He noticed sales of newspapers overperformed the sales of books, so to keep up the sales of books, he asked certain authors to write book series.

That’s all for your lesson. (He has a fascinating history, for anyone interested in publishing!.)

Pearson Airport is one of Canada’s largest and busiest airports. Although air traffic has gone way down as a result of the pandemic, there are still at least a couple hundred flights arriving and departing per day and, I’m assuming, more and more each day as vaccination rates rise.

Pre-Covid, there were more than 1,200 daily departures. (Fun fact: Dec. 17–20 are the busiest travel days!)

During the holiday season, an average of 127,000 passengers fly out of Pearson Airport each day. That’s 127,000 potential book buyers daily who pass by a travel convenience store on the way to their gate.

That’s almost one million potential book buyers a week! 

And since these travel convenience stores are small, they only stock a select number of books, which means an author's book has better odds of being noticed and purchased, since it isn’t competing with hundreds of other books in store, or the hundreds of thousands on Amazon. If anything, they’re just competing with the wall of Pringles, Doritos, and Nibs.

Even better? (At least for authors whose books are sold in airports.) You have a potentially massive built-in audience: travellers stuck waiting at their gates, bored AF, with nothing to do but pick up a book. And even better? Planes get delayed, cancelled, and rescheduled all the time, not to mention those long layovers.

There really isn’t much to do at an airport (aside from stealing cookies from the lounge and annoying the hell out of your partner by plane-splaining, which I wrote about here.) 

My guess is that there are a ton of non-readers who become readers only while travelling. This is why airport convenience stores feature mostly bestsellers — Michelle Obama’s Becoming, which was released in 2018 and is still on the shelf — businessy books, self-help books, and mainly very commercial books.

Listen, no one likes being in an airport. Flying is not fun — except if you’re seven years old and get a window seat, which makes flying especially un-fun for the person seated in front of said seven-year-old — especially if you’re flying Air Canada Rouge. The seats are ridiculously uncomfortable. They should really offer complimentary coupons for chiropractors as you exit the plane. In fact, when an Air Canada Rouge employee scans my boarding pass and says, “Have a nice flight,” I just want to respond, “You’re kidding right?” and sometimes, “Thanks! I don’t enjoy being comfortable anyways!”

There are also hundreds, if not thousands of unhappy passengers who want to forget that they are trapped seated in Row 34, seat A, next to the washroom, and who may, therefore, buy a book to read while they are suffering seated in Row 34, seat A, next to the washroom. They may not be able to escape from their seats, but at least they can escape into a rom-com novel.

Don’t forget about the unhappy people who’ve just learned their flight’s been delayed, and now have to wait not just for their plane to arrive, but for the passengers arriving on that plane to disembark, then wait for the plane to be cleaned….yada yada.

Which is why authors should keep this in mind if they want to stock their book at an airport: expect a bored AF, pissed off, impatient audience who have no other option but to sit. Their ass. Down. And wait before getting to their well-deserved vacation.

A vacation where they may actually find time to read, too, another reason I think so many people buy books at airports. Vacationers think they’ll have time, or feel they should make time for reading.

I often remind authors that publishing is a business. And from a business perspective, who cares if a traveller only bought a book on a sheer whim or to pass the time (because your father told you that you better "get there early,” so you arrive at 6:00 a.m for a flight that’s supposed to take off at 4:00 p.m.)

Who cares? At least they bought your book!

Even if they didn’t end up reading more than 21 pages of your book. A sale is a sale.

I usually buy three books at travel convenience stores. Let me remind you that you also need to wait on the plane for other passengers to board — passengers like me trying to shove their carry-ons into impossibly small overheads.

So, really, there’ s like an extra 40 minutes to read while on board before take off. And during the long Canadian winter? Even longer! Who doesn’t groan when they hear, “This is your captain speaking. We are number eight in line to de-ice the plane, and then we’ll get going. It should be about 45 minutes or so.”

I usually read until everyone’s on board, then I pass out hard just as the plane is taking off, thanks to my sleeping pill kicking in. (I’ve gotten flying down to a science!)

I admit I’ve bought tons of books at airports that I’ve never finished, for exactly the reasons I’ve listed above. Reading helps me escape the awfulness of waiting. 

I may have every intention to finish three books I've spent $88 on at the travel convenience store while on vacation. But I'd be lying if I told you that I always read books on vacation, even ones that I had just bought six hours earlier that sound like really fun reads. 

After all that browsing and excitement reading back covers, I usually end up reading InTouch or the Enquirer. Even US Weekly and People magazine are now too much work for my vacation brain. (Keep in mind, my job is reading! So on vacation, I just like to listen to music.)

My point is that whether your novel ends up getting read or not, authors should be thrilled to have their books stocked in an airport! Again, a sale is a sale.

I’m planning to go on a vacation, hopefully, soon. So this holiday season, I'm asking for gift cards to the Toronto International airport, so I can purchase books that I may or may not read.