Caught in a damn good romance
“I love getting lost in a great romance novel. Then my husband farts, tells me he loves me and brings me back to my real life. Awesome.” via Someecards.com
Glam squads and bodice-rippers? I just want to be swept away from everyday life!
But first, I need to unburden myself of some of my dirty secrets.
My first dirty secret? I’m a big fan of the K-Pop band BTS. My second dirty secret? I watch all the Real Housewives franchises and have been following the cast members for years. (Even before “glam squads!”)
My third (and most relevant) dirty secret is that...I enjoy reading romance novels. (“Dirty” may take on a different meaning here!)
So now that it’s out there, it’s no longer a secret. You may wonder why this is such a big deal, and you may be proverbially looking at me sideways (or, most likely, you’re thinking, “I watch them all too! Do we believe Erika Jayne? Is Leah really converting to Judaism? Kyle’s hair looks really good this season!”)
Like many women, I have attached shame and stigma to the fact that I enjoy romance novels. It’s high time I hold my head up and not fall into this trail of degradation that society has created, deeming such genres shameful and embarrassing. Why should I be embarrassed about reading romance novels?
Romance is a genre I believe is valuable and legitimate — and also not what most people perceive them to be. There are thousands of contemporary romance novels out there, and they are just as good as any other fiction.
Romance is a genre of fiction that must include two non-negotiable components: a central love story and a satisfying ending, meaning a happy one. Of course, the love story always drives the narrative.
When people assume romance novels are “trashy,” it does a disservice to potential readers. It not only insults our taste — claiming we like “smut,” or “mommy porn” — but it insults the authors too by implying that these are bad, poorly written books.
I, however, would argue that romance novels examine human relationships (and bodily autonomy!). All romance novels, whether contemporary or historical, provide insight into the state of romance during the period the novel takes place.
Romance novels have a massive dedicated audience, most who act like they are in the Witness Protection Program, ashamed to be "found out" as lovers of romances. According to the Romance Writers of America, the romance fiction industry pulls in more than a billion(!) a year, outselling any other genre by a landslide.
Some studies suggest book sales increased last year due to the pandemic. But if you really look at the statistics, book sales increased because of the uptick in sales of romance novels.
People rarely speak openly about reading romance novels — or rarely recommend them — but it’s a conversation worth starting and discussing, don't you think?
For me, romance novels provide the perfect escape during dire times — the road to a happily ever after in every romance offers readers a much-needed break from regular life. For many, the appeal is already knowing two lovers will overcome their struggles, no matter what.
Why NOT escape into the arms of an Adonis-like figure, or peek into someone’s fictional bedroom? Since so many people inhale romance novels, I'm amazed that there still exists a stigma.
So, where does this shame and stigma come from?
Romance is the #1 selling niche in fiction writing, with a dedicated audience of more than 30 million swooning readers. (Obviously, I’m far from alone!)
That said, the shame surrounding romance has been beneficial in one very important way: Generally, romance authors promote each other, and romance readers have formed a large and inviting community, especially online.
In this CBC article, Farah Heron, author of Accidentally Engaged, says: "I love romance because it's optimistic. You know it's going to end happily ever after for the characters. I love going into it and knowing that that's going to happen.”
I couldn’t agree more. When people say romance novels are so unrealistic, I wonder, “Why is it a bad thing to escape from reality? Have you not lived reality over these past 16 months?”
My favourite kinds of romances are when two characters who are polar opposites in culture, class, and personality meet and clash at first, until they realize that they were meant for each other. Just like in Jenny Holiday’s latest novel Sandcastle Beach, the third in her Matchmaker Bay Series, where a theatre owner and a would-be actor have a long-standing feud, but then (of course!) end up falling in love.
Following in the footsteps of the hugely successful Fifty Shades of Grey author, E L James, Canadian author, producer and journalist Lisa Gabriele wrote the fantasy-filled erotic novel S.E.C.R.E.T.
Two more novels followed to create a bestselling trilogy. She first used the pseudonym L. Marie Adeline — well aware, I’m sure, of the shame associated with writing romance erotica. But the success of the book proved her wrong.
Well, it’s a new millennium! And there is NOTHING wrong with talking or reading about our pleasures and desires. Yet romance readers are still often shamed/feel ashamed.
So what if romance novels have been ridiculed by the literary elite, despite consistently being a bestselling genre and billion-dollar industry?
Nora Roberts has published more than 200 novels, but less than five of them have been reviewed by revered publications. Even Germaine Greer, Australian author and radical feminist, once said, “Romance nourishes disappointed women, creates unattainable fantasy and is cause and effect of women’s oppression.” (“Lighten up!” I’d tell her. “Modern-day love stories show that the women are rarely the passive ones.)
(P.S. Rebecca wanted me to add that, yes, I’m intelligent enough to be able to tell a story from reality! And I’ll add that the romance readers I’ve come to know are diverse, educated, and just want to go on reading what they choose without worrying about social commentaries on their reading choice or their intelligence, for that matter.)
Romance authors don’t get the respect they deserve from highbrow literary types, yet they’re the ones raking in the money. At the end of the day, “Readers vote with their wallets,” as the saying goes.
These days, romance writers — especially those who are self-published, many of whom toss a mini-romance or erotic novella multiple times a week on Amazon — now earn thousands of dollars a month, especially from Kindle purchases. “Kindle: enabling smart women to read trashy romance novels in public since 2007!
Do you think the author of Fifty Shades cares that people shade her writing? Her estimated net worth is more than $170 million. 150 million copies of the book have been sold worldwide.
Danielle Steel — one of the biggest and prolific names in the genre known for publishing a number of books a year — has a net worth of about $385 million. (Her latest, Nine Lives, just came out in July, and she has another coming out later this month!)
It is far and beyond time we get our heads out of the gutter and allow women to enjoy whatever genre they want to read without shame or embarrassment. And these days? Many romance novels (reflecting modern times) will have chick-lit design covers, sort of like a book in a Halloween costume!
I’m not saying you should run to your TV tonight (at 9pm on Bravo) and watch a group of women fighting and making up within seconds, only to do it all over again in the next episode, and the next and the next, but I would highly recommend that if you haven’t done so lately, or at all, you should pick up a romance novel (maybe one I recommended here?).
It’s time to end the misconception that romance novels are for lonely, sexually unfulfilled women. (Rebecca popping in here to say I am sexually satisfied and I, too, enjoy romance novels!)
Romance readers know that what they’re reading isn't reality. We want to read romance because, simply put, it brings us happiness.
I’ve overcome the shame I felt reading romance novels. Plus, you don't need a glam squad to read a juicy, get-that-shirt-off romance before bed.
Know any must-read romances? Share them with us here!
Written by Maya B., Executive Editor