How to write your first book (really)

"I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” 

- Maya Angelou, Nobel Laureate

Disclaimer No. 1: I have not written 11 books. I have written and published only 10. The 11th is brewing, though. Now I am about to share the secrets for you to succeed with writing your book.

Disclaimer No. 2: I was once clueless, too. I had never written a book before my first publishing deal. But, somehow, my cluelessness and not knowing how to write a book, led to 10 of them being published.

Let’s go back to the beginning

When I signed that first book deal, I was elated…for about three minutes. I very quickly realized I had a massive “problem.”

I had no f*cking clue how to write a book!

I had what is coined as “Imposter syndrome.” You know, that nagging pit of terror in your stomach that you will be exposed as incompetent, a complete fraud, talentless and unworthy of any success! I suffered from all those torturous “symptoms.”

But, when I look back and really think about it, how could my first publisher know if I could write an entire book? They couldn’t. They just assumed I knew how to, based on an idea I verbally pitched over a Cobb salad! (Next week, I’ll share the many different ways I sold each of my books. Stay tuned! It’s pretty fascinating.)

If second-guessing your talent, worries about your idea being any good, or having doubts about whether you can actually write, are holding you back from writing your book, well, Congratu-f*cking-lations! You’re in excellent company. You’re practically an author already (aside from writing and finishing your book).

What's COVID got to do with it?

So many people have told me this past year they want to write a book, it could be listed as a symptom of COVID. Perhaps a beautiful consequence of this pandemic, is that there are more aspiring authors than ever. A pandemic positive! The world always needs writers.

The more people that tell me they want to write a book, the more I’m asked how to do it.

I encourage everyone with an idea to, “Write it!” and, “Just go for it!” Almost universally, the response is, “Do I just…start writing?” So many aspiring authors are seeking permission from someone — anyone — to write their book, like asking for a second opinion from a doctor. (Trust me, you don’t need a doctor to diagnose "imposter syndrome.”)

Even Nobel Laureate, Maya Angelou, suffers from imposter syndrome, despite sustained achievements. (You know, like the Nobel f**king Prize!)

Every time I have an idea for a new book, all those ugly feelings come flooding back. But I’ve learned how to embrace them and how to use those miserable feelings to my advantage.

Plus, life is too short for shitty sex anyway, so instead spend that time writing your book! (Sorry, making sure I still had your attention.)

This is where I’ll step in, with nine secrets to overcoming “imposter syndrome” and getting your book done:

1. Picture yourself being asked what it’s like

When people ask me, “What's it like to be an author?” I always want to respond, “What's it like not being an author?” It’s really up to you, whether you want to be the one asking that question or the one answering it. If you really, really want to be the one answering, you need to write your book, regardless of how clueless you feel, or the outcome. I often ask myself this question, whenever I want to give up, during various stages of writing a book. What you also should be asking yourself is not what you have to risk by writing your book — it takes courage to do something where you can fail — but what is the risk if you don’t follow your dream? (The answer is “regret!”)

2. Should you write a book?  

This is the No. 1 question I’m asked. It is debatable whether or not everyone has a book in them. Does everybody have a compelling story that can sustain approximately 70,000 to 120,000 words? I am solidly in the camp that believes everyone has a book in them. I can guarantee this: your idea is book-worthy if you think it is. 

Worried you have no talent as a writer? Don’t be! The most common critique of many successful books is that the writing is, well, pretty ordinary. Your book doesn’t have to be award-winning literature to be enjoyable, garner an audience or have a huge impact. Many great books are written by ordinary people, like myself (but maybe a little less weird). So, if you believe your book is worthy, it is! 

3. Imposter syndrome is your secret weapon

So, embrace it! Use those tortuous feelings as an advantage. Simply using those feelings to make you feel you have "something to prove” is a great motivator. (It works for me!) Is there one writer (or reader) on this planet who hasn’t read a book and thought, “I could write so much better than this?” If you think it, prove it.

4. Start, finish, publish

People like the idea of being an author — it sounds so dreamy to say, "I'm writing a novel!” — but few are keen to put in the actual work. Writing and finishing your book will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, your chances of starting, let alone finishing, a book are as slim as a supermodel. The secret to writing is this: flip open your computer and spew your thoughts onto the page. Rinse and repeat. With today’s self-publishing boom, if you finish that book, you can 100 per cent be a published author.

5. The making of an author (no more play dates!)

Time management, and making “writing time” your top priority, without distractions, is crucial to writing (and finishing) your book. No one else can write your book for you! Carve out writing time, regularly and consistently, so your writing time becomes second nature. That could mean waking up at 5:30 a.m. to write before the kids get up (which is what I do when I’m writing a new book).

Be realistic about what will work for you and your situation, and stick with it. When it’s my “writing time,” I turn off my phone and filter out all distractions like the internet and Netflix. I tell friends they won’t see me for six months whenever I start a new book. I warn my boyfriend that I’m not going to be much fun, while in the midst of writing a book, with my self-imposed 9:30 p.m. lights-off rule. You need to be ruthless scheduling time to write, at the expense of children, friends and spouses. (I'll tell you what it's like to live with a writer another time, I promise!)

6. Lower your expectations  

I know. I know! Three words all women love hearing. (Cue the eye rolls.) When people reach out to me about writing a book, what they’re really saying is they want to publish a book. It’s a great goal! Nothing is more surreal and thrilling than having your book published, seeing it in bookstores and in people’s hands. 

But way too many aspiring authors let writing a book worthy of publishing take up too much space in their heads, creating this overwhelming pressure that they have to write a masterpiece that could take years to complete. (And even non-masterpieces can take years, so buckle up!) 

So, write as if no one will read it, which is what I do. The secret is to have no expectations or lowered expectations — let’s be real: female brains aren't wired to have “no expectations” — and write with the intention of it not being good enough or good at all. At the risk of being repetitive, you don’t have to be a brilliant writer. Not everyone flies business class and not everyone reads business class. Even if you do create a masterpiece, your book will never be as good as you want it to be. Like, ever. By writing as if no one is going to see it, without any regard to how many copies you dream of selling, it takes away unnecessary pressure and helps overcome paralyzing thoughts that are holding you back from writing your book.

7. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. (Also, question yourself!)

Every book starts with an idea. (Where else do they start?) News flash! None are original. That is why you cannot copyright an idea; only the means by which it is expressed. Originality comes from answering specific questions. What is motivating you to write? Writers write because we think we have something (call it a story) we want to share. There is no interest in your story unless the message within it is interesting. A tortoise and hare racing is boring! The message is the tortoise winning – that message is eternal!

Identify your story and whom it is meant for. What differentiates your book from others already out there? Research published books in your genre (simply go to Amazon and type in your topic) to see how others convey their message and how you can express it differently, more effectively or with your personal twist.

Now what and how?

Creating an outline that includes your answers to these questions is a great way to start! I find it incredibly useful to write a book proposal first, which forces you to answer all the above questions (and eventually you’ll to need anyway if you plan to try and sell your book to a publisher). This process helps keep my direction, and keeps me pumped for writing the next chapter. Here is an example, to help you continually reflect on your answers to key questions, keep you on track, and you will develop the secret to all great writing: authenticity.

8. Take things ass-backwards

Sometimes it helps to work backwards. Personally, I can’t even start a book unless I have a “working” title in mind, which can take me months to come up with! (Talk about procrastination!) But once I do land on a title I love, that is my motivation. With my “working” title in hand for book 11, for example, I went even a step further by asking a designer friend to create a “mockup" book cover, featuring my title, which they did in 20 minutes! If I find myself procrastinating or self-doubting, I just open my phone and look at my “mockup” book cover, which inspires me to sit on my ass and write what needs to go "between the covers."

9. Enjoy the ride

It’s not brain surgery so, breathe!  I’ve learned never to beat myself up if I have a bad writing day. I remind myself I don’t have to perform brain surgery today. I don’t even have to take out an appendix today. No one will die from me, or you, having a bout of bad writing. When I do have a good writing day, I will sometimes force myself to stop, even before the end of my allotted writing time. Think of it as leaving a party, at the height of the fun, tipsy enough but not drunk enough to fall on your face. This keeps you disciplined to your schedule and excited to keep on writing! Writing a book is hard work, but it is also extremely enjoyable, if you just allow yourself to enjoy the process of writing, regardless of the result. Just as reading should never feel like a chore, writing shouldn’t either! So also celebrate good writing days, and treat yourself to that cupcake or shot of tequila. (Whatever’s your jam!)

Until next time, flip your hair and flip the page! (And fake it until you make it, like every other author.)

xo