Gloomy reads are good for the soul: Why I read sad books (and why you should too)
Written by Maya B.
I like to talk about how books free me, take me away from my reality, how stories give me joy and peacefulness. And, for the most part, I promote books that have happy endings and satisfactory conclusions.
But that isn’t always the case with novels, is it? There are books out there that are sad and upsetting AF; ones that leave you emotionally drained or just plain emotional (and sometimes cause runny mascara and swollen eyes from blubbering, This is Us style).
But who would want that? Who wants to be sad and depressed when reading?
Me. I do!
I’m not talking regularly or habitually, but sometimes I just need a release to have all the “bad” emotions come flooding out. It’s cathartic.
For me, reading a sad book is just one way to free those emotions that I push so far down that they become hard to extract.
Another method I use is when I lie in bed at night and watch videos of surprise family reunions or military homecomings. Thank goodness for the American people and their dramatics, without which I wouldn’t have nights that end with tear-drenched pillowcases.
Back to books though. Last week, Rebecca sent me an email with a link to this article from Cosmopolitan Magazine, with many such recommendations. It also discusses a new trend on social media that promotes “sad books.”
This “trend,” as Cosmo puts it, is actually not a trend at all, as I discovered in one of the Facebook groups I belong to.
Sad books have always been around. Think of classics such as Withering Heights, The Colour Purple, and even The Little Prince. Readers have always wanted and needed them. I guess that with our changing world, we are more cognizant and accepting of what we perceive as bad emotions.
On Facebook, a member posted a question to the group that read: “Just curious, no judgement, I just want to ask the people on here that request very sad books or books that make them cry — why do you want books like that?”
A lot of the responses did, indeed, speak of catharsis. One described it as “an outlet, a controlled release.” Some said it made them feel “alive.” Others mentioned that experiencing someone else’s anguish reminded them that either their problems were not as bad or they felt less alone.
Some opened up and said they find they are so detached from emotions in their daily lives that reading a sad book brings them out, tears and all, in turn helping them to deal with their own issues.
One answer I found most relatable was: “Sad books are more realistic than happy ones, they are more representative of our imperfect lives where mostly, we don’t experience happy endings.”
The saddest book I’ve ever read is What Remains by Carole Radziwill, and I’m proud to say I read it before she became a regular on Real Housewives of New York. (Rebecca, here, jumping in to agree with Maya: Great read!)
What Remains is Radziwill’s memoir about falling in love and losing the love of her life, Anthony Radziwill (John Kennedy Jr.’s first cousin), to cancer. It also depicts the tragic life and loss of her best friend Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, whose marriage to “John John” was the target of tabloid media for years.
This book was also the reason I discovered I needed sad books in my life.
Most of these books, whether fiction or memoir, depict the most tragic of losses a human can bear or the most devastating illnesses we experience. Because these are the events that cause us the most grief and sorrow.
Here are some recommendations of “sad” novels that may stir some woeful reactions:
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: A web of family secrets and pain is revealed when a daughter, who carried her parent’s hopes and dreams, tragically drowns. Without disclosing anything, the ending to this book is very unexpected.
Fruit of the Drunken Tree by Ingrid Contreras Rojas: Set in dangerous and volatile 1990s Columbia, a seven-year-old child and the maid, recently hired by her mother, are drawn together by their differences and must face the devastating reality of their place and time. A distressful and emotional read.
The Home for Unwanted Girls by Joanna Goodman: Historical fiction novel about a young, unwed mother whose daughter is taken away at birth. Masterfully written vignette of the dark realities faced by young and pregnant women in 1950s Quebec.
You may say you have too many things to be sad and upset about in life, but I would counter that with this: Realistically, our emotional range is like a teeter-totter — it needs to go up and down on both ends in order to work.
These emotions we categorize as “bad” are actually not at all. In fact, they are the perfect counterbalance to happy, satisfactory, peaceful feelings, feelings that wouldn’t feel so good without their counterparts.
So, if we use books to make us feel jovial (as I constantly write about), they can, and should, help us feel gloomy, as well. And sometimes, we need that.