Top-tier wedding speech tips from an expert speech writer
Since Wendy Dennis, a multiple award-winning journalist and bestselling author, has written countless speeches for people “who want to speak from their heart on an important day,” I reached out to ask her for her top three tips for writing the perfect wedding speech.
Initially, Dennis took up writing wedding speeches as a side gig, offering up her skills to help people during a highly meaningful and emotional time in their lives. Her top-notch writing and editing skills help them “say the things they want to say but don’t know how to.” (I personally know many happy customers!)
There’s also the fact that because she often has to navigate dicey family situations when crafting the perfect wedding speech, she gets to see that everyone is dealing with mishigas in their families.
Dennis writes speeches for all types of occasions, including toasts and tributes, along with ghostwriting and business writing, and pretty much any kind of storytelling (click here to check see all her services), creating a memorable narrative that holds people’s their attention so they’re not making a “beeline to the bar!”
She explains that, “Writing a stylish speech for a meaningful occasion isn't like writing a brief or report. You have to know what stories will move your audience and make them laugh, what details to include, which ones to leave out, and how to navigate delicate situations. Then you have to worry about every word. That takes expertise. And time!”
For many, attempting to write a memorable speech may feel like a chore. Why not get some help to say the things you want to say but don't know how to? There's nothing wrong for asking for help, especially if you don’t want to f**k up a day that they will remember f-o-r-e-v-e-r!
Nothing makes Dennis crazier than a bad wedding speech. “Sadly, there are many,” she says. “So I consider helping to rid the world of them a public service!”
Here are three need-to-know tips from expert speechwriter Wendy Dennis to keep in mind when you’ve been asked to take the podium. (Oh, and feel free to share this with anyone you know who has to write a speech and is in a deadline-induced panic!)
1) Know your role
Delivering a wedding speech is both a great honour and responsibility, which means you’d better know your job going in. So, let me be clear: your job is to speak from the heart about the person you’re honouring and deliver a speech about them — not you. This may sound self-evident, but many speakers drone on about themselves, or irrelevancies, without even realizing they’ve turned their audience to stone. First and foremost, ask yourself, what does this person mean to me and why? What stories and details can I share about their character and values that will move the audience and make them laugh? What idiosyncrasies do they have that the audience will immediately recognize as authentic?
Your job is not — I’m looking at you, parents — to blather on about your kid’s veterinary degree or MBA. I know it feels good to brag about your kid’s bona fides, but they already know they went to law school, and so does the audience. The truth is, nobody cares about your kid’s resume, and they certainly don’t want to hear you recite it at their wedding. Instead, tell stories that will make your audience laugh and cry and get all verklempt. Having to sit through a resume speech will only make them want to stick pins in their eyes.
2) Keep it short
Your speech should be roughly five minutes in length, which means you have approximately 750-850 words max to get in, get out, and hit all the right notes. It’s a tall order, which is why I recommend writing longer on the first draft, and then mercilessly cutting and revising. Your first draft will be peppered with cliches, since cliches always come to mind first, so get rid of the phrases that have been overused to the point of meaninglessness. Ask yourself how many times you’ve heard a wedding speech with the line, “You were always there for me.” Now, ask yourself how often hearing that line has touched you. I rest my case. If you think the word count is too restrictive, consider this: the Gettysburg Address is 272 words.
3) Get a second opinion
Every writer needs an editor, so before you take the podium, ask a trusted reader to eyeball what you’ve written and pick someone who’ll tell you the truth, or you run the risk of telling a cringeworthy story. I’ve heard a best man say (in front of the groom’s kids from his first marriage, no less) how thrilled he was the groom had remarried since he could never stand his ex; a dad talk about how proud he was when his daughter made her first poo-poo on the potty; and a bridesmaid take passive-aggressive shots at the bride for her bridezilla tendencies. You want laughs? Choose a story that gently pokes fun at the person you’re toasting or affectionately reveals a truth about who they are. And avoid had-to-be-there stories, like those clinkers about the hijinks and hookers at the bachelor party. Next to the dreaded resume speech, nothing is more boring than having to sit through a sophomoric tale that’s only funny to the people who were present at the time. Finally, unless you earn your living as a stand-up comic, don’t think because someone has put a mic in your hand that you’ve suddenly become one. You’ll just embarrass yourself.
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As for how her process works? Well, it’s actually really simple! Click here to check it out!
(Don’t be speechless!)
xo
Rebecca